I'm crushed between the teeth...

I love Showbread. Their one of the few bands that I feel like have stretched the limits of "Christian music" and made it into one of the most thought provoking, convicting and memorable presentations of the Gospel I've ever encountered. It’s beyond the KLJC or Air One artists. Showbread is diving deep into a world that many Christian artist are afraid to go- true ministry.

Showbread has decided to give away their 5th cd for free through Come&Live, a ministry that is meant to equip musicians to fulfill the calling God placed on their lives for ministry. I think its an incredible thing, and I'm excited to see what God will do through them. Gabe and I have given- will you? If you’re interested- check here for more information . You can also read more about Showbread's decision to leave the 'music industry' and become missionaries in the music field here .
I listened to both Showbreads cd's 'Anorexia' and 'Nervosa' today, and yet again I'm reminded why I love Showbread so much. Those two cds (which coincide with each other) are some of the most creative and intense music I've ever listened too. They both are meant to be listened to while reading a story, which front man Josh Dies (Joshua Porter) wrote. The stories are about two sisters. Anoexia- who chose to climb the latter of success and self made righteousness, and Nervosa- chose the path of self destruction and misery. They are two polar opposites who you see at the end- no matter if one is dying from a disease or the other of a failed abortion- need Jesus Christ's blood to cover them. Although the back story for each cd makes the songs that much more incredible, they can most certainly be listened to alone. Listening to them like regular cd's gives a different but still pungent effect. These cd's are not for the weak of heart (they contain some 'graphic' sound effects), nor for the condemning (one of the stories details a rape and abortion). Yet if you want to open your eyes to the darkness the world lives in and the light which Jesus Christ offers, these two cd's paint a raw, real, and beautiful picture.

Here are the lyrics to "The Journey", the first song on ‘Anorexia’. I've had it stuck in my head all day. You can listen to it by clicking the song title.

The Journey (Anorexia)
The world is big and empty
With tentacles and a mouth
The world was in my body
I'll tear the world out
The mouth yawns open
The mouth never sleepsThe mouth never closes
So I pull out it's teeth

I am lost inside the mouth
I am lost
The world is big and barren
Mostly dying, mostly withered away
Yet with enough machines, it operates
Beeps and buzzes, archs it's treads
Spreads it's legs for me, tilts back it's head
The thing twists it's coils, grinds at my guts
Tightens up around me, forces my heart shut

I am crushed between the teethCrushed between the teeth (2x)

I will be remembered
You will be forgotten
I will be reveredYou will be misplaced
I will crush the world's head
You will drink it's urine
I will be honored
You will be disgraced

Last night I tried my hand at making Spaghetti Squash. Most people microwave or bake theirs, but my Mom suggested I boil it. I've had Spaghetti Squashed made in the microwave before, and it usually becomes a little mushy and almost defeats the purpose of using it as a substitute for pasta. However, boiling it make it crunchy and delicious! If I could readily get a hold of spaghetti squash I dont think I'd be eating much pasta anymore. It had the consistency of al dente pasta with a very mild squash flavor. It melded perfectly with spaghetti sauce and was surprisingly filling.

Heres how I made it. You'll notice that I dont really measure anything. Everything is really according to your taste, and I just throw things into the pot until it smells and tastes delicious.

Ingredients:

1 medium/large Spaghetti Squash
1 jar of Spaghetti sauce (any kind will do)
Small hand full of bacon bits
Hand full of Parmesan cheese
Dash of Italian Spice
Dash of Garlic Powder
Dash of Cookies seasoning
Cheddar cheese

Start boiling a large stew pot full of water. Cut Spaghetti Squash length ways in half and remove seeds. Once water is boiling, place squash in, and allow to softly boil until the flesh is tender and it starts to shred. Remove squash and plunge into cold water to stop the cooking process. Heat spaghetti sauce, bacon, cheese and spices in microwave or sauce pan. Remove squash from cold water once its cooled. Begin shredding the squash flesh with a fork. It will begin to break up into fine pieces, much like pasta. It should continue to shred until you reach the skin of the squash. Add squash to spaghetti sauce and let reheat for a few minutes so flavors blend and squash becomes warm again. Serve with cheddar cheese sprinkled on top. You can also add hamburger, ground turkey or chicken to the dish to "beef" it up. (Hardy har... I made a pun!)

You can also make this exact same dish with White sauce instead of Spaghetti sauce. If you're only feeding a few people like I am, you'll probably have left over squash. The following day I just used a white sauce over top with seasonings, chicken and veggies. It was quite tasty!

Enjoy!

She'll prey on your very life

Life has been so busy I havent really had time to sit down and think about writing. However, this afternoon I started back up writing a story I had put aside for a little while. Its sorta a play on the Proverbs 6-7 when Solomon speaks about the adulterous women and how she preys on the very live of the simple man. I have had several stories wrapped around in my mind- from a almost literal account of the chapters to a metaphorical story that points towards the verses.
I think this will be one of those projects that will haunt me for a long time. The stories are almost like terrifying dreams that replay in my mind over and over again, and I think the only way to calm them is to unload them on to paper. I wish there was a way I could hook a recorder up in my brain and just get through each story like I'd watch a movie.
I think Proverbs 6-7 is very close to my heart, simply because of much of my past. The stories that play through in my mind are in some way or another direct links to the very things I've come out of. I totally relate to the man in these proverbs, although I hate to admit it. I think we all can, whether its with one sort of temptation or another.

Proverbs 6:24-35

²⁴ keeping you from the immoral woman,
from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.

²⁵ Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes,

²⁶ for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread,
and the adulteress preys upon your very life.

²⁷ Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?

²⁸ Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?

²⁹ So is he who sleeps with another man's wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished.

³⁰ Men do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.

³¹ Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,
though it costs him all the wealth of his house.

³² But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment;
whoever does so destroys himself.

³³ Blows and disgrace are his lot,
and his shame will never be wiped away;

³⁴ for jealousy arouses a husband's fury,
and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.

³⁵ He will not accept any compensation;
he will refuse the bribe, however great it is.

Proverbs 7:6-27

⁶ At the window of my house
I looked out through the lattice.

⁷ I saw among the simple,
I noticed among the young men,
a youth who lacked judgment.

⁸ He was going down the street near her corner,
walking along in the direction of her house

⁹ at twilight, as the day was fading,
as the dark of night set in.

¹⁰ Then out came a woman to meet him,
dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.

¹¹ (She is loud and defiant,
her feet never stay at home;

¹² now in the street, now in the squares,
at every corner she lurks.)

¹³ She took hold of him and kissed him
and with a brazen face she said:

¹⁴ "I have fellowship offerings at home;
today I fulfilled my vows.

¹⁵ So I came out to meet you;
I looked for you and have found you!

¹⁶ I have covered my bed
with colored linens from Egypt.

¹⁷ I have perfumed my bed
with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.

¹⁸ Come, let's drink deep of love till morning;
let's enjoy ourselves with love!

¹⁹ My husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey.

²⁰ He took his purse filled with money
and will not be home till full moon."

²¹ With persuasive words she led him astray;
she seduced him with her smooth talk.

²² All at once he followed her
like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer stepping into a noose^c]">

²³ till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
little knowing it will cost him his life.

²⁴ Now then, my sons, listen to me;
pay attention to what I say.

²⁵ Do not let your heart turn to her ways
or stray into her paths.

²⁶ Many are the victims she has brought down;
her slain are a mighty throng.

²⁷ Her house is a highway to the grave,^d]">
leading down to the chambers of death.

Let me feel it...

Its been one of those days where everything is coming in on me. Pressures,
expectations, worries, responsibilities. Theres something about mondays
that just wear on me. Ha. "Rainy days and Mondays always get me down"...Ha.
Although I quite like rainy days.
All day its seemed like no one understands- like I'm the only one who sees
things this certain way. During lunch I decided just to go to the car, roll
down the windows and pray. I put in my head phones, worshiped and just felt
God's sweet presence fill the car. It was so hot in there... but every so
often, an amazing cool breeze would pass through and it would just cool my
whole body. It made me think about the Holy Spirit. Even in the 'hottest'
circumstances, God's Spirit brings peace and restoration through his
refreshing presence.
I heard this song play during my quiet time with the Lord, and it seemed to
sum up exactly what my hearts cry is to the Lord.


Light of Your Face- Jesus Culture

O Lord bless me and keep me
Cause Your face to shine on me
Lord be gracious with the light of Your countenance,
Give me peace

I live only to see your face
So shine on me

Let the light of Your face shine down on my heart
And let me feel it

"Break Me Down"- Red

A long day alone
Emptiness is so real
Never having peace of mind
Running from what I can't see
And there is nowhere left to hide
Turn and face these empty eyes
All alone, heart untold
Trying to find

Break me down replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down

I try to find myself
I find the stranger trapped inside
And I'll take one more step away
From the face I used to recognize
Familiar shadows closing in
Suffocating fear descends
It comes alive, uncovered eyes

I'm trying to find
Break me down replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down

Replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down

Break me down
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down [repeat]

Break me!