Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Beauty and the Beast...... lalalala laaaaa.....


I listened to 5 radio broadcasts from FamilyLife Today on Beauty these past two days. Three women,Nancy Leigh Demoss, Nancy Stafford and Sharon Jaynes we're a panel interviewed about God's view of beauty, the cultural standards, and modesty. I was actually quite surprised by many of their responses on the topic (especially since their a veryconservative group). It got me thinkingabout my own ideas of beauty. So often my heart is clouded by the worlds perspective of being thin, pretty, pulled together, or whatever it might be, that I forget God's true meaning ofbeauty. It is a meek, gentle and quiet spirit,but with that, its physically being your best so you can glorify God. God is the creator of beauty, and in that, he wants us to reflect it.

What are your ideas of beauty? Are your thoughts muddled with the worlds, or are youcultivating a heart that seeks to understand and obtain God's view?

Listen to the broadcast'shere:

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Old memories die hard

  Last night I was flooded with old memories. Memories that havent resurfaced for a long time. Memories about old friends, fun times, hurt, pain, hope, lament, and mourning. I sat there for a long time wondering what happened, what I could have done differently, and if there was ever hope of restoration. That lead to wondering what would have happened if all those memories were just a dream and they were erased. I sorta let the old wound resurface and I mourned over it again, like it was fresh. I knew there was no turning back, but the loss was greater then I had let myself remember before. Its easy to think that its no big deal, but when you're really truthful with yourself, those memories are pieces of you- pieces that are tender and even raw to the touch.
This morning I woke up in the same battlefield, and I decided I couldnt allow myself to wallow any more. I needed to jump into action. I have done what I physically can, by asking for forgiveness, trying to make the wrong right again. Yet my heart still aches for restoration. The only thing I could decide to do was pray. I couldnt relive those memories over and over again like a movie reel in my mind. I couldnt wonder what if anymore. What I could do was bust open heavens gates and lay those memories at the feet of Jesus. I could act as an intercessor between the lost and God, pleading for the Holy Spirit to break through walls and demolish strong holds. That there will be misery in current circumstance and Jesus will make himself known. That there will be a longing and thirst in the hearts of those involved that only Jesus' blood will satisfy. I know I might not be the one to sow the seed, but through prayer I can plant seeds. I can pray for harvesters that will bring Jesus' truth to those circumstances, and pray that their work is speedy.
Beyond that I could ask God for forgiveness, for the part I played in pushing, pulling and warping my will into the lives of others. Its easy to look back and only remember the things you want to. When I look back, I forget about the wrong I did, the pain I caused, and the wall I helped build. I have to be honest and admit that I am not blameless and its only through Christ's blood and mercy that the past can be made clean. And through Him, He past is not just cleaned- but made right in due time.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I'm crushed between the teeth...

I love Showbread. Their one of the few bands that I feel like have stretched the limits of "Christian music" and made it into one of the most thought provoking, convicting and memorable presentations of the Gospel I've ever encountered. It’s beyond the KLJC or Air One artists. Showbread is diving deep into a world that many Christian artist are afraid to go- true ministry.

Showbread has decided to give away their 5th cd for free through Come&Live, a ministry that is meant to equip musicians to fulfill the calling God placed on their lives for ministry. I think its an incredible thing, and I'm excited to see what God will do through them. Gabe and I have given- will you? If you’re interested- check here for more information . You can also read more about Showbread's decision to leave the 'music industry' and become missionaries in the music field here .
I listened to both Showbreads cd's 'Anorexia' and 'Nervosa' today, and yet again I'm reminded why I love Showbread so much. Those two cds (which coincide with each other) are some of the most creative and intense music I've ever listened too. They both are meant to be listened to while reading a story, which front man Josh Dies (Joshua Porter) wrote. The stories are about two sisters. Anoexia- who chose to climb the latter of success and self made righteousness, and Nervosa- chose the path of self destruction and misery. They are two polar opposites who you see at the end- no matter if one is dying from a disease or the other of a failed abortion- need Jesus Christ's blood to cover them. Although the back story for each cd makes the songs that much more incredible, they can most certainly be listened to alone. Listening to them like regular cd's gives a different but still pungent effect. These cd's are not for the weak of heart (they contain some 'graphic' sound effects), nor for the condemning (one of the stories details a rape and abortion). Yet if you want to open your eyes to the darkness the world lives in and the light which Jesus Christ offers, these two cd's paint a raw, real, and beautiful picture.

Here are the lyrics to "The Journey", the first song on ‘Anorexia’. I've had it stuck in my head all day. You can listen to it by clicking the song title.

The Journey (Anorexia)
The world is big and empty
With tentacles and a mouth
The world was in my body
I'll tear the world out
The mouth yawns open
The mouth never sleepsThe mouth never closes
So I pull out it's teeth

I am lost inside the mouth
I am lost
The world is big and barren
Mostly dying, mostly withered away
Yet with enough machines, it operates
Beeps and buzzes, archs it's treads
Spreads it's legs for me, tilts back it's head
The thing twists it's coils, grinds at my guts
Tightens up around me, forces my heart shut

I am crushed between the teethCrushed between the teeth (2x)

I will be remembered
You will be forgotten
I will be reveredYou will be misplaced
I will crush the world's head
You will drink it's urine
I will be honored
You will be disgraced


Thursday, May 13, 2010


Last night I tried my hand at making Spaghetti Squash. Most people microwave or bake theirs, but my Mom suggested I boil it. I've had Spaghetti Squashed made in the microwave before, and it usually becomes a little mushy and almost defeats the purpose of using it as a substitute for pasta. However, boiling it make it crunchy and delicious! If I could readily get a hold of spaghetti squash I dont think I'd be eating much pasta anymore. It had the consistency of al dente pasta with a very mild squash flavor. It melded perfectly with spaghetti sauce and was surprisingly filling.

Heres how I made it. You'll notice that I dont really measure anything. Everything is really according to your taste, and I just throw things into the pot until it smells and tastes delicious.

Ingredients:

1 medium/large Spaghetti Squash
1 jar of Spaghetti sauce (any kind will do)
Small hand full of bacon bits
Hand full of Parmesan cheese
Dash of Italian Spice
Dash of Garlic Powder
Dash of Cookies seasoning
Cheddar cheese

Start boiling a large stew pot full of water. Cut Spaghetti Squash length ways in half and remove seeds. Once water is boiling, place squash in, and allow to softly boil until the flesh is tender and it starts to shred. Remove squash and plunge into cold water to stop the cooking process. Heat spaghetti sauce, bacon, cheese and spices in microwave or sauce pan. Remove squash from cold water once its cooled. Begin shredding the squash flesh with a fork. It will begin to break up into fine pieces, much like pasta. It should continue to shred until you reach the skin of the squash. Add squash to spaghetti sauce and let reheat for a few minutes so flavors blend and squash becomes warm again. Serve with cheddar cheese sprinkled on top. You can also add hamburger, ground turkey or chicken to the dish to "beef" it up. (Hardy har... I made a pun!)

You can also make this exact same dish with White sauce instead of Spaghetti sauce. If you're only feeding a few people like I am, you'll probably have left over squash. The following day I just used a white sauce over top with seasonings, chicken and veggies. It was quite tasty!

Enjoy!

Monday, May 10, 2010

She'll prey on your very life

Life has been so busy I havent really had time to sit down and think about writing. However, this afternoon I started back up writing a story I had put aside for a little while. Its sorta a play on the Proverbs 6-7 when Solomon speaks about the adulterous women and how she preys on the very live of the simple man. I have had several stories wrapped around in my mind- from a almost literal account of the chapters to a metaphorical story that points towards the verses.
I think this will be one of those projects that will haunt me for a long time. The stories are almost like terrifying dreams that replay in my mind over and over again, and I think the only way to calm them is to unload them on to paper. I wish there was a way I could hook a recorder up in my brain and just get through each story like I'd watch a movie.
I think Proverbs 6-7 is very close to my heart, simply because of much of my past. The stories that play through in my mind are in some way or another direct links to the very things I've come out of. I totally relate to the man in these proverbs, although I hate to admit it. I think we all can, whether its with one sort of temptation or another.

Proverbs 6:24-35

24 keeping you from the immoral woman,
from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.

25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes,

26 for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread,
and the adulteress preys upon your very life.

27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?

28 Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?

29 So is he who sleeps with another man's wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished.

30 Men do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.

31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,
though it costs him all the wealth of his house.

32 But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment;
whoever does so destroys himself.

33 Blows and disgrace are his lot,
and his shame will never be wiped away;

34 for jealousy arouses a husband's fury,
and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.

35 He will not accept any compensation;
he will refuse the bribe, however great it is.

Proverbs 7:6-27

6 At the window of my house
I looked out through the lattice.

7 I saw among the simple,
I noticed among the young men,
a youth who lacked judgment.

8 He was going down the street near her corner,
walking along in the direction of her house

9 at twilight, as the day was fading,
as the dark of night set in.

10 Then out came a woman to meet him,
dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.

11 (She is loud and defiant,
her feet never stay at home;

12 now in the street, now in the squares,
at every corner she lurks.)

13 She took hold of him and kissed him
and with a brazen face she said:

14 "I have fellowship offerings at home;
today I fulfilled my vows.

15 So I came out to meet you;
I looked for you and have found you!

16 I have covered my bed
with colored linens from Egypt.

17 I have perfumed my bed
with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.

18 Come, let's drink deep of love till morning;
let's enjoy ourselves with love!

19 My husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey.

20 He took his purse filled with money
and will not be home till full moon."

21 With persuasive words she led him astray;
she seduced him with her smooth talk.

22 All at once he followed her
like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer stepping into a noosec]">

23 till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
little knowing it will cost him his life.

24 Now then, my sons, listen to me;
pay attention to what I say.

25 Do not let your heart turn to her ways
or stray into her paths.

26 Many are the victims she has brought down;
her slain are a mighty throng.

27 Her house is a highway to the grave,d]">
leading down to the chambers of death.