Have Your Way...

Waiting is so hard. And, it seems like I've been waiting for God's hand to move in a certain situation forever. Every time there is a step forward, then it falls two steps backwards. Its so draining to look at a part of your life, or in some cases, your whole life, and only see unanswered prayers and broken dreams. It feels so hopeless. This past weekend all the pain, heartache and strife I'd been holding over the situation came to a head, and I got to the point where I began doubting God's promises and whether He would come through. I've desperately wanted resolution for so long , and when I looked at what had been accomplished in the past years and I only saw digression. I just wanted there to be a quick fix, an answer, anything to begin resolution so I could experience some peace and rest.

The whole weekend I lamented over the situation. I allowed myself to wallow in the heartache and pain to the point where I couldn’t even be around people, let allow go to church, worship and pray. I felt my heart quickly running to bitterness and anger over everything, and I started looking at myself as the victim and everyone else as the abuser. I doubted that God would ever move in the situation, and I began to wonder if I'd have to live my whole life with this hurt and pain.

God is so good though. He's always so gentle and loving to remind me of his promises and great love for me. He let me wallow in my pity just to show me how wrong I was. I had to experience the bad to really see the good for what it really was. On Tuesday afternoon while I was at work still wallowing in my pity, the song "Have Your Way" came across my iPod. I couldn’t help but begin to weep over the truth in the song. Every single line in the song was like it was written exactly for my situation. It truly was the cry of my heart, but instead of it turning to anger and bitterness towards God for not doing what I wanted him to, it surrendered to God and worshiped him anyways. I had to adopt the prayer "I'll stop searching for the answers, and I'll stop praying for an escape. I'll trust you God with where I am, and believe that you will have your way..." I had to let go of my anger and doubt and turn my heart to surrender and the knowledge that no matter what, God is God and I am not. He is good, and I can trust him.

This isn’t going to conclude with a happy ending saying "God answered all my prayers and now everything is ok!". That just isn’t the truth. The pain and heartache is still there, and the wounds are still deep. But, the incredible thing is that no matter what, God is here with me, and he WILL fulfill his promises. He will have his way, and its my choice to stand firm in his promises and believe that he will work all things together for my good and his glory.

Even if my dreams die, and even if I don’t survive, I WILL worship him with all my life....

Have Your Way- Britt Nicole

Feels like I`ve been here forever,

Why can`t you just intervene?

Do you see the tears keep falling?

And I`m falling apart at the seams.

But you never said the road would be easy,

But you said that you would never leave.

And you never promised that this life wasn`t hard,

But you promised you`d take care of me.

So I`ll stop searching for the answers,

I`ll stop praying for an escape,

And I`ll trust you,God, with where I am,

And believe that you will have your way.

Just have your way.

Just have your way.

When my friends and my family have left me,

And I feel so ashamed and so cold.

Remind me that you take broken things

And turn them into beautiful.

So I`ll stop searching for the answers,

I`ll stop praying for an escape,

And I`ll trust you, God, with where I am,

And believe that you`ll have your way.

Just have your way.

Just have your way.

Even if my dreams have died,

And even if I don`t survive,

I`ll still worship you with all my life.

My life.

And I`ll stop searching for the answers,

I`ll stop praying for an escape,

And iIll trust you, God, with where I am,

And believe that you will have your way.

Just have your way.

Just have your way.

I know you will.

I won`t forget.

You love me.

Have your way.